anonymusings….

*sigh* so what comes after the shedding and growth? more contemplation, more shedding and more growth. i love this picture. besides visualizing myself on a beach whenever i think of peace and relaxation, i also envision myself on a wraparound porch smack dab in the middle of a huge country yard, surrounded by blossoming flowers, wrapped in a blanket or robe, sipping tea and facing a lake. *double sigh* i’m truly a “g.r.i.t.s. (girl raised in the south) ” kinda gal. hell my love for the southern landscape and homes are so intense, sometimes i think that in my former life i was some kind of confederate belle. *shudder*

still, the scene always clears my head and mellows me out whenever i need to plan my next step. it feels odd because i didn’t write the release and “things to come” letters that i normally do each year. i feel unbalanced because i don’t have a specific direction or area to focus on.

the things that have been at the forefront of my mind are evolving into a good partner for amani and rebuilding my finances. i think that the majority of my writings in the future are going to center around the changes that i’m experiencing being a girlfriend for the first time in a long time (because my last relationship does NOT qualify as such no matter WHAT amani says…lol). but not just the changes of becoming a girlfriend. for the first time, i am looking seriously at preparing myself to become a wife. *insert terrified face here*

in the meantime, i think i’ll just mentally settle into this picture of me on my porch casually sipping my tea and watching the water…