it ain’t easy bein’ green
when i was younger people used to tell me that my eyes changed colors. i’ve never been able to tell because they’ve always seemed to me to be so dark brown that they were almost black. but for some reason folks used to say that they looked dark green at times. for the first time this weekend, when i looked into the mirror i thought that i saw some green flecks here and there.
i feel uncomfortable even posting this because it seems absolutely petty but y’all i think that i’ve been hit by the green-eyed bandit - you know - the one that wears those sweatpants w/ the words “juicy” “jealous much?” across the butt?
so, my roommate #11 is in town (writing this on saturday but it won’t post until tuesday). *as an aside, why do my posts always begin w/ “so” - i mean, i know i write like i’m talkin’ to y’all but i don’t ever do that in real conversation* sooooooo, she came as a surprise for my other roommate #23’s b-day. as i’ve told you guys in multiple posts my college roommates and i have a bond that’s indescribable. we’re the characters from every cheesy foursome flick (divine secrets of the ya ya sisterhood, girlfriends, sex & the city, waiting to exhale - hell, even sisterhood of the traveling damn pants) rolled into one. our personalities are soooo diverse - yet combined we make one HELLUVA woman.
well, over the years - we’ve gone our separate ways, established other friendships, expanded our horizons but we always stay true to each other. we don’t ever trip over our outside friendships. they are what they are, but they don’t feel the space that either of shares - at least until now.
#11, forged a friendship w/ a group of linesisters when they lived in NY and she and another one of the LSs have become very close. so much so that it’s gotten to the point where, when she comes here it’s understood that she’s rooming w/ her - although all 3 of us other roomies live here in ATL.
normally, i don’t mind but this trip just has me feeling all out of sorts. we didn’t spend any 4some time together and we barely got the chance to chat - let alone bond as a unit like we normally do. it’s been 3 years since we’ve spent that quality time together and i miss it!
it’s not like i haven’t talked to her in a while either. we spent some quality time while i was in dc last month and i was the first person that she told about being pregnant. MAN, that was a tough secret to keep for the last month! maybe it’s because earlier in the week i watched “sisterhood of the traveling pants” and “sex & the city” all on the same day and bawled my eyes out because i miss our “full house” experience.
am i being possessive about my friendship? maybe. we all turn 33 this year - not 13, so it seems a little foolish. i am the LAST person to get all jealous and petty about my friends so i don’t know where this emotion is coming from. the last time i was this possessive was over the black baby doll in the toy box at nursery school - and that did not end well at ALL. let’s just say that there was a girl with a scratch on her face and i took the doll home w/ me that afternoon. lol! i dunno. *sigh* all i can say is that it’s not easy being green. i wish i could shake this feeling, but for now - i can’t! 
You will NOT wear sweatpants with ANYTHING written across the butt. Whew. Now that we got that out of the way…
You just aren’t accepting that your friendship has changed. You aren’t even ready for the change. Not only that, you can’t control the change. But you can control yourself. You have some tuff decisions to make. First, you need to figure out how to dress from head to toe in plastic. According to the countless hours I’ve watched CSI draping yourself in plastic is the only way not to leave any transfer evidence at the scene. Second, you have to chose a weapon. Knives are more personal but guns get the job done with way less effort. Third, you need to figure out where to dump the not-foursome-chick’s body. If you put her in a body of water, be sure to cut open her stomach so her body doesn’t float to the surface.
Oh wait, you don’t want to commit a crime?? Well hell, I don’t know what to tell you.
First, isn’t writing on your butt supposed to make you feel young and trendy? As long as it’s not airbrushed?
And second, in all seriousness why was I contemplating an “unfortunate accident” for my LS so that I could have my roomie back???? I even texted the other two roommates about that - and they were down!! j/k - but not really LMAO!!!
I think you hit the nail on the head, though. I haven’t accepted the change in friendship, although it’s been there for a while. It didn’t happen overnight, but I think that because this is the first time that because we didn’t take our normal “foursome picture” or spend the time alone - it hit hard. And you’re also right about not being ready. I never thought that I’d HAVE to be ready. I think that’s the part that has me so discombobulated!
Comment by Hostess — July 15, 2008 @ 10:21 am