bad bag ladies
when i first met sunny, she was working in a barber and beauty salon. i swear fo’ God - barber and beauty salons are THE most blog worthy places EVER - men and women exchanging ideas while getting their grooming on? good times! there was this barber in the old spot named rashaan. he was muslim (we were located next door to a masque) that had the most intelligent - always ready for a debate and bean pie - clients EVER.
rashaan always used to call me lil’ ms. badu. he was the type that asked questions and peeped game. he said that my persona “made a n*gga wanna wear colorful legwarmers and wax poetic about the meaning of life and shyt”. lol! i didn’t talk much while in the chair, but i was always game to answer his questions and could hold my own w/ his male clients. to this day he still calls sunny and says “i miss lil’ ms. badu” - tell her i asked about her ‘cypher’.” 
i used to not mind that comparison. even “creasy” (y’all folks on my private blog know who i’m talking ’bout) says that when we first met - in his mind my name blended w/ chanting, mediating, whole foods and the karma sutra (have i told y’all lately how much i HATE him - lol). anyway, i USED to think that neo-soul meant progressive. lauryn used to be profound. erykah used to be eclectic and india used to be multi-faceted.
now, i feel duped. these chicks are just as ghetto fabulous as khia, one-dimensional as foxxy, trashy as lil’ kim. have y’all seen THIS???? while frequenting my favorite gossip messageboard, i find myself arguing w/ broads about how it’s NOT COOL to have every guy that you find yourself in a relationship with skeet up in you. and that OOW children are NOT THE BUSINESS.
and yes, i get that things happen. i have a small number of friends that have had OOW kids, but they are NOT recurring situations - and most have eventually tied the know w/ their child’s parent either before anyone knew about the conception or immediately following the birth. here’s a comment that i made on the site after reading erykah’s - f*ck that- erica’s (just keepin’ it REAL) comments about “respecting the queendom” and “kissing her placenta” :
Seriously biz, the reality is that she lets the dudes that she sleeps w/ nut in her. No one is downing only her. Those dudes go into situations w/ her knowing that (and that she’s fertile and will keep the child), so everything that I say here also pertains to them.
At the time, it prolly makes the union seem “sacred” (I can hear her saying that while the incense is crackling). I remember reading an article where Common said that they were celibate. Good thing for him, or his ass would’ve gone for the okey-doke too.
The point is, no matter how well she’s able to provide for her children - no matter how good of a relationship she has w/ the fathers - the concept of a family unit (American family, black family, whichever) is being eroded on a daily basis.
Some people call it being redefined. I call bullshyt. We tend to justify our actions by redefining parameters and it’s killing our society. Men (IMO) are supposed to be heads of households, not replaceable appendages (ie - insert random baby daddy here). Women are supposed to be queens sitting on a throne with their king - not kingS.
So what if there are a million happily functioning 1/2 siblings from various OOW relationships? There are also a million happily functioning people w/ herpes. Just because it’s functional doesn’t mean that’s the way it “should” be - especially when it’s the result of a conscious decision.
And if y’all don’t agree w/ me y’all can kiss my cervix! and rashaan, don’t call me badu - EVER again. we ain’t nowhere NEAR the same cypher. hmph.
I read Ms. Badu’s response as well. I guess artists like her sell us the idea that they are “deep” and more self-aware than your avg person. You just don’t expect a woman like her (or who we think she is) to consciously choose to have children by 3 different men, and in a relatively short time span. Yeah, she’s human, imperfect, blah blah blah - I get it. You just don’t need to get pregnant by every man you have a relationship with. At some point you’re supposed to learn from past mistakes. SMH
That’s the thing for me. It’s the fact that her image was marketed around being “deep”, “self-aware” and “committed to uplifting our people”. Lil’ Kim is setting a better example controlling her vagina power than Erykah. At least she’s not being selfish affecting her own children and getting upset about being called out for it!
Comment by K. — July 16, 2008 @ 7:21 pm
The problem is she doesn’t think she is doing anything wrong or that her sexual behavior is irresponsible…I ain’t one to judge but (don’t you hate when people say I don’t normally do/say/act this or that way then proceed to do/say/act in that way?) that is not the example I would want these impressionable girls to follow.
And seriously, if it was all good, wouldn’t one of the previous two baby daddys at least still be in a healthy relationship with her…
Right. And back to the Lil’ Kim example that I used in the last comment - at least she’s not setting her self up as a positive role model. She calls herself a “queen”, too but a Queen Bytch. She knows her role. Erica - ‘cause I REFUSE to go along w/ that manufactured image anymore wants to be “queen of the earf” and all that, but her behaviors are just as hood and ghetto as Boomquisha. If she’s going to be irresponsible, OWN IT! Take the head wrap off and rock some fingerwaves!
Comment by BlackIce — July 17, 2008 @ 5:13 pm
The font got really tiny after the smiley face and the quote from Erika Badu…It was really interesting and such up to that part…is there a blog glitch?
Oh no, I was trying to differentiate between my post and the comment that I made on the message board. I guess, I should’ve made it another color instead of shrinking the font. Thanks for stopping by. Please don’t be a stranger!
Comment by Gee — July 25, 2008 @ 1:26 pm